On October 9, we celebrated Voices for hospice by means of relief operations instead of holding a mini-concert (which was the original plan). The UP Tau Gamma Sigma Triskelion’s Grand Sorority joined hospice from buying, repacking and distribution of relief goods. Beneficiaries were 88 families including hospice patients.

          She was only three years old. She was chubby and very beautiful, even if she had acute myelocytic leukemia. Her prognosis was bad.

          August 3, 2006 was her third birthday. Aware that it could be her last, my partner volunteer and I wanted to make it truly memorable for her. Though it was raining heavily then and we had to cross a slippery creek to reach her house, we brought her festive balloons, a chocolate cake and a stuffed toy that we were sure she would enjoy.

          Mica and her family were really surprised by our arrival. She dressed up for us and had a real birthday party. Oh, how she had fun blowing out the three candles on her cake. And how she enjoyed playing with the balloons.

          My partner and I went home soaking wet but with hearts bursting with happiness. We knew we gave the little girl enough cheer for her to cherish through her short lifetime.

          Mica and her family were really surprised by our arrival. She dressed up for us and had a real birthday party. Oh, how she had fun blowing out the three candles on her cake. And how she enjoyed playing with the balloons.

          Indeed, that was her last birthday. She joined her Creator on October 30, 2006.

          Kaisa-isang anak namin si Mica na nasuri na may Acute Myeloctic Leukemia (AML) noong May 22, 2006. Bilang isang ina, kagustuhan kong gumaling ang aking anak at lahat ng paraan ay aking ginawa sa kadahilanang kapos kami sa buhay. Nanghingi ako ng tulong kung kani-kanino at kung saan-saan hanggang sa matagpuan ko si Tita Tess Gonzales. Itinuro niya sa akin ang Madre de Amor Hospice Foundation. Hindi na ako nag aksaya ng panahon, lumapit ako sa kanila at pina-enroll ko ang aking anak.

          Regular na dinadalaw ng hospice volunteers, nurse at staff si Mica. Naging maayos nung una subalit pagdating ng July napansin ko na malimit na siyang lagnatin at kailangan na siyang salinan ng dugo. Pabalik-balik kami sa PGH, tinapat na din kami ng doctor na pwedeng may mangyari kay Mica na hindi kaaya-aya. Sa kabila ng malungkot na balita, sinikap pa din naming mag-asawa na tugunan ang pangangailangang medical ng aming anak, at sa panahong iyon ay nakaalalay ang hospice sa amin.

          Binigyan ng munting birthday party ng hospice si Mica noong August 3, 2006. sobrang kasiyahan ang nadama ng bata at damang dama ko bilang ina niya. Pinaramdam na rin ng hospice ang maagang Pasko sa kanya, dinalhan siya ng munting Christmas tree, mga regalo at Santa Claus. Subalit patuloy ang panghihina ng bata at saksi ang Christmas tree sa paghihirap ng aking anak. Dumaan ang mga araw at patuloy ang paglala ng kanyang karamdaman at wala akong magawa kundi sundin ang payo ng hospice na ibigay ko ang nararapat na pagaalaga at pagmamahal sa bata. Hindi ko kayang tanggapin subalit nang makita ko ang labis na paghihirap niya at sa tulong ng volunteers natutunan kong ipaubaya ang aking anak sa Poong Maykapal.

          Hinding-hindi ko malilimutan ang mga huling araw ng aking anak na tumanggi ng magpunta sa doctor. At malaking pasasalamat ko sa Madre de Amor Hospice Foundation na hanggang sa huling sandali ay nakagabay sila.

(Maricris Cabatuan letter to hospice translated into English by Teresita C. Gonzales)

          Mica, our only child, was diagnosed of Myelocytic Leukemia (AML) on May 23, 2006. The maternal instinct filled me with the urgency to exhaust all possible doors left open for a possible cure.

          I approached many people and government agencies until I was lead to the Madre de Amor hospice through the efforts of Tita Tess Gonzales. From then on, the hospice volunteers regularly visited. Mica started to recover slowly too. But in July she started to deteriorate. I accompanied her to the Philippine General Hospital several times for blood transfusions.

          Mica was treated to a birthday party on August 3 by hospice. It was a day of rejoicing. Christmas came early in October. Two weeks before her demise, the hospice volunteers set up a Christmas tree near her bed, complete with lights and presents.

         When she continued to slip downhill, I finally offered her to God. I will always remember hospice.

          It all started when my wife, Lily a hospice volunteer, requested me to drive her to the hospice center for a meeting. Since then, accompanying her regularly to patient visits as well as to other important hospice events, eventually led me to join this special apostolate.

          The fears and anxieties I felt at the outset were replaced with self confidence as I experienced the positive vibes of the other hospice volunteers. The joy of seeing the grateful faces of patients and their families finally convinced me that I could balance my time between them and my grandson whom I consider the most important part of my life. After several years of hospice work, now I understand the value of giving comfort and peace, as well as attending to the genuine needs of the terminally ill patients. May God continue to sustain my wife and I in this special calling.

May God reward you for your dedication in raising a good family

          Helen and Leo are one of the very few families that we have served that seemed to have no problems. They come from well-bred families that are well educated and well trained. Helen was sales director of a multi-level company dealing with beauty products. Leo was an overseas worker for many years. Thus Helen attended to the care of the family while Leo was abroad. They had established a substantial nest-egg from the good jobs they held.

          But, in a snap, everything got dissipated. It started when Helen was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002. She was at the peak of her career. She underwent chemotherapy and radiation and the cancer seemed to be in remission. She resumed her career and continued to be engrossed with her job.

          Then after lengthy travels both domestic and foreign in connection with her job, she began to encounter unusual signs that brought fatigue and weakness. The family sought the help of hospice and we became her volunteer.

         The love and dedication to each other nurtured in her family had to converge on her. Leo gave up a good paying job in the Middle East to be at his wife's side. Her youngest daughter who was budding employee at Samsung followed suit and provided care at bedside. Even her septuagenarian mother from Quezon relocated to give additional support.

          No medical procedures were spared. They went to a better-equipped hospital in Manila and a doctor provided regular home care service to treat her ever growing bedsores.

          Her cancer that metastasized into the bones notably the spinal column which was hit in three different locations. This left Helen devastated and bed-ridden and developed bedsores.

          However, she had the will to live longer and thus her family did everything to provide every possible remedy. She was in and out of the hospital during the last month of her life.

          A week before the inevitable came, she was seeing images. Upon her request the couple volunteer brought a priest. She made her confession and was anointed with holy oil. She also requested that every room in their house and the surroundings be blessed.

          She was in the active dying stage. But Helen having a strong personality developed over the years as a dominant member of the family, held on.

          Three events happened however, that made her finally give up. One daughter went through a long-delayed wedding. Another daughter who just got a job in the Middle East came home in spite of being on the job for only a few months to be at her mother's bedside. Lastly, a son who was hesitant to visit his mother in her condition finally went to see her at her dying bed in the hospital. At last, they were all finally reunited.

          We admire the dedication and the care that the whole family gave Helen while she was sick. The involvement of each member of the family in Helen's care was truly a demonstration of family unity in times of adversity as in many Filipino homes.

          To most patients of Madre de Amor Foundation, hope and faith find way in their lives. It was resiliency at its best. Now we know what hospice is all about.

           We are now on our 77th year and our 11th as hospice volunteers. With God's blessings we shall continue to serve.

          It is indeed an honor for me to be part of the 15th year anniversary celebration of Madre de Amor Hospice Foundation, your Hospice. Last 13 August Thursday, I got a call from a doctor who I like and admire, Dr. Dory del Rosario Ocampo, your executive director. She asked me if I will be willing to be the affair's guest speaker in liue of somebody who could not make it. I don't know why I readily said yes without so much thinking. Maybe it's out of respect for what Dr Dory is doing in the Hospice. It's also an opportunity to meet you, the volunteers who are the life and soul of the Hospice.

          But then as I thought later of the role assigned to me by Dr Dory tonite, I felt I would fall short of the task. I thought I could share to you my and my family's experiences as active volunteers in some social and religious organizations to inspire you. But as I prepare for this talk, I realize that what our family is doing pales in comparison to the dedication and commitment that you show as the volunteers of the Hospice. (Joke: Sabi ko sa sarili ko, baka kinuha lang ako ni Dory para dagdagan ko ang donation ko.)

          I came to know of the existence of the hospice several years ago through Mrs Tess Gonzales. In one of my business visits to her house in Pleasantville, she casually mentioned to me that she is a hospice volunteer. She would visit people afflicted with cancer like herself, providing emotional support to the patient and her/his family. I was struck then (and still is now) of her unselfishness. Here was a lady who is a cancer victim herself, who should be spending more time administering to herself and to her family and yet still found an opportunity to care for others.

          And then I met Dr. Dory Ocampo, also a business client of mine. She introduced to me more what Madre de Amor Hospice is all about. A volunteer herself, she administers palliative care to patients under the Hospice. This time I was face to face with a young woman who was (and still is) to reach the peak of her career. She could have chosen to spend the time to her paying patients. I'm into personal financial management. I could imagine the peso losses she incurs when she is into volunteer work. But her service could also serve as her way to continue loving her departed mom who was also a cancer victim.

          I felt guilty then. At her age, I was very very busy building up my career that doing extra-curriculars was a waste of time for me. I admired her dedication and commitment to what the Hospice stands for. Kaya siguro, whenever she asked me to donate, I give.

          I can sense that same dedication, commitment and unselfishness thrive in your hearts, my dear volunteers. If not you will not be celebrating your 15th Anniversary. From a small beginning in Los Banos in 1994 with 6 volunteers, I understand your Hospice now serves 17 out of 30 towns in Laguna. Your ranks of dedicated volunteers are growing in number (now 38). These only shows the need of the community for your service.

          And what a noble service that you volunteers are doing. You have embraced your mission of improving the quality of life of terminally ill patients and providing support to their families.

          I admire how you do it, your service. Yours is a wholistic approach. You not only provide the needed medical service and equipment but also address the emotional and spiritual needs of your patients and their families. And as much as possible, caring is done in the patient's home. You make sure that the patient will not experience unnecessary pain and make him/her and the family emotionally strong. Your service to the patient maybe for a short period of time but you leave a more lasting impact to the families they leave behind.

          Congratulations, my dear volunteers. You deserve all the honor that you can get. (Palakpakan nyo ang inyong sarili for the good work that you are doing.)

          When I meet people like you, I wonder where you draw your inspiration to serve particularly in your service to the Hospice. I'm sure you will agree with me that not everybody can or will do it. It takes a special breed of people to be in this service.

          I need not go far in search of answers. As I browse the website of the International Association for Hospice and Palliative Care, the organization your Hospice is affiliated with, I came across an article in your newsletter by Dr. Derek Doyle, who is into her(his?) 40 years in the Association and presently a board member. In answering the question of a reader on who must be the palliative care professionals, she(he?) writes,

          "The fundamental requirements are a well-thought-through personal philosophy of life, and springing out of that, a deep and non-judgmental compassion for all in need."

          Yes, that's it. You are a breed of people who really know your own selves. You know where you stand for, you are sure of your beliefs and philosophies in life. You have reached a certain level of spiritual maturity to accept and respond beautifully to the things happening around you.

          And from that flows the desire to love others and be compassionate to those in need.

          You most probably believe that life is a gift to be lived fully. The sharings of your patients in your newsletters are testaments to these. Their lives acquired new meaning and instead of blaming God for what they are experiencing, they in effect are saying that they are experiencing God's love. They are claiming the Lord's promise of giving life, life in its fullest (John 10:10).

          I bet my dear volunteers that you are experiencing that inner joy that comes with genuine service. That's also what I and my husband feel when we go out and serve our community. That's the beauty of it all. When we serve, we too have that feeling that we are being served. There is joy in service. I was looking at your happy faces in your posted pictures in the internet and I can sense the feeling of fulfillment in you.

          Doc Dory has asked me to give you an inspirational talk as I said in the beginning of my talk. I admit I cannot inspire you more. Sorry, Dr Dory for failing you. I can't inspire you more, my dear volunteers, because you are the inspiration. Your work in the Hospice is the inspiration.

          Instead of attempting to inspire you, I am thanking you. We who are not volunteers here will like to thank you. Your work has made us to value life more, to love life more deeply, to accept it as a gift and to see its abundance. You challenge us to love more and be more compassionate to people. You teach us to be more spiritually connected to our God. And thank you, for reminding us that we draw strength and experience joy in loving and caring for others.

          Thank you and God bless your service and your Hospice.

         How time flies when one is so engrossed with many things in life. It has been 15 years since I became a hospice volunteer. Dr. Dory Ocampo invited me to attend a seminar on hospice care. Out of curiosity, I agreed. After a series of lectures I decided to join hospice.

          At first I did not want to take part in direct patient care. I was afraid to deal with the terminally ill. My work was only to prepare food for hospice events and to help hold garage sales for fund raising. One day, Dr. Dory asked me if I can visit patients. She said that the hospice clientele are growing but there were very few volunteers. My baptism of fire was not only one patient but three. One of them was actively dying. There was no turning back. I did what I had to do. I prayed hard to the Lord to help me cope and the rest was history.

         Doing hospice is not easy. There are patients who are not easy to care for, and there are families who are not easy to deal with. There are times when I wonder if what I am doing is well worth it. On occasions like these, I tell myself, that since they are suffering I should be more understanding.

         My rewards are plenty. I discovered what I am made of and of what I am capable. I thought I was weak but because of my experience with the hospice patients, I become stronger. My patients and their families teach me so many things about life and how to live it. They teach me to accept things, how to cope with crises, to be patient, to be compassionate and most of all, because of them, I became closer to God. They have given me more than I have given them. Indeed, it humbles me how I owe them so much.

         It is easy enough to explain why people engage in certain jobs: that is how they earn a living. They usually possess professional skills that qualify them for the job. In fact most may be working in a career, not just a livelihood.

         But those who work as part-time volunteers in fields where they may or may not have professional training are a different story altogether. For one thing, their motives and goals differ from those of people in search of lifetime careers. If the volunteers are young persons seeking entry into the job market, they may just want to acquire relevant work experience that they can use as stepping stones towards planned careers. If they are successful middle-aged professionals with comfortable, well-paying jobs, they may wish to share with society the fruits of their successes. On the other hand, if they are retired individuals who are reasonably healthy and still capable of performing certain tasks, they may be driven by a wider range of motivations, such as: (a) a wish to continue with physical and mental activities in order not to degenerate or “vegetate;” (b) a desire to “get out of the house” and socially interact with kindred spirits as a way to avoid debilitating boredom; (c) a compulsion to use their remaining capabilities to render service to the needy and the less fortunate in their communities; (d) a need to work with a group that can help organize, enlarge and channel their volunteer services in order to reach more beneficiaries more effectively. The beautiful thing about these motivations is that they are a good mix of “selfish motives” (i.e., avoiding physical and mental degeneration) and “altruistic motives” (i.e., rendering service to benefit others.)

         My exposure to the Madre de Amor Hospice started when my Better Half, already a 10-year veteran volunteer, would recount at home some of their activities, particularly their visits to, and interactions with, stage 4 cancer patients who are obviously aware (and perhaps utterly scared) that the Grim Reaper is just around the corner. Some of the stories revolved around how the visits brought a bit of cheer and some boosts to the morale of the ill; how, in unspoken ways, the patients showed their appreciation of the fact that volunteers, who are not related to them at all, are caring and persistent enough to make the scheduled visits, rain or shine. What I could glean from these accounts is that the volunteers, without any medical skills, are somehow making the last days of the dying patients less painful, more endurable, and occasionally more pleasant by just being there and demonstrating that they care. On the other hand, the “silent appreciation” by the patients of the caring efforts are felt by the volunteers as sufficient “psychic satisfaction” that could far exceed any monetary compensation.

         After I, a Retiree, learned to appreciate the value of the Hospice efforts and realized how mutually satisfying volunteerism is to both patients and volunteers, it took only a very light push by my Better Half to make me plunge in to become a Hospice volunteer. So, here I am.